Many of the problems we commonly face in relationships are because of unquestioned beliefs that we hold. We internalise many notions about relationships without putting them through any sort of scrutiny ... because things are they way they are, right? Wrong. Many of these aspects that we have somehow decided are set in stone, are myths. Relationships can be as complicated and as simple as you'd like for them to be, and one of the ways to simplify a relationship is to debunk some of the myths that we believe. Like...
Everybody shows love the same way. We are quick to accept that there is no one definition of love. But, when it comes to showing our love, we are stumped by our expectation that everybody expresses it the same way. The only exception here is categorising people as 'romantic' and 'non-romantic.' But, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, a psychologist and author, there are five love languages, that is, five different ways people show love.
If they love you, they should know what's on your mind. Love doesn't magically give you mind-reading powers. Being close to someone doesn't mean that you've got to be able to tell what's going on with them, without them telling you anything. If you tell your partner that you are fine, then it is unfair for you get upset if they believe you.
Happy couples don't fight. ALL couples fight. In fact, fighting can be good for your relationship, if done right. Yes, happy couples have a different way of fighting. They don't say hurtful things to each other that they don't mean, and don't threaten each other with break-ups. But, they are not happy all the time. They get angry at each other, feel disappointed, argue, disagree, and sometimes don't want to talk. But, they deal with it in a respectful manner.
› See More: 7 Relationship Myths Debunked!
If you are happy in your relationship, you won't be attracted to other people.
It is perfectly normal to be attracted to someone else even if you may be madly in love. What matters is how you deal with it. Those who are happy in their relationship are less likely to act on temptations. Everyone gets tempted once in a while, and this is not always a reflection on the state of your relationship.
You don't need space in a relationship. If you are constantly in each other's faces, you are more likely to fall apart at the seams. One of the challenges in a relationship is to find the balance between 'I' and 'we,' and this means that individual needs must also be honoured. You can't do everything together, and giving each other space for work, family, friends, individual interests and needs, and even just some down time, is healthy, and will keep the two of you coming back to each other.
You must have the same taste in things. How can you possibly date someone who doesn't listen to the same music as you do? Well, by tolerating each other's choices of music. As long as you respect the fact that your partner likes different things, and don't stop them from listening to or reading or watching what they would prefer, it's okay. Sure, you may not be able to have passionate discussions about your favourite artist's latest album, but you have friends for that. The plus side is, you can introduce each other to a whole bunch of new things, and somewhere along the way, you might find that middle ground of things you both like.
If it's meant to be, it will work out. Life is not a fairytale. You have to work toward things, and that sometimes means, fighting for a relationship. This may mean altering your life decisions, or even working on yourself to become a better person. You can't always rely on destiny to keep you and your partner together. You have to be proactive.
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